Every time I’ve returned to Greifswald since 1989, memories from my stay there return. Today Greifswald is a beautiful, charming mid-sized city, the architectural style is the same as in other Northern German cities with a Hanseatic past, and the city centre is full of life and activity. You have to make an effort to find traces from the DDR era; even the boring grey tenements in Schönwalde look lighter and happier after renovation. And friendly greetings in shops and restaurants are no longer the exception.

When I arrived there in September 1981, the city looked completely different: the city was gray and shabby. During the year I spent there, many of the old buildings in the city centre were torn down one by one. And Schönwalde, “my” neighbourhood, consisted of row upon row of grey blocks of flats that could only be distinguished from one another by their street number. I had got my foreign lectureship at Greifswald University through the Swedish Institute. The department I would come to work in had the name Sektion für Nordeuropawissenschaften; the Nordic languages and English were taught there.

Other subjects taught were the history of literature, history, economics and politics in the Nordic countries. Russian and Marxism-Leninism were compulsory for all students. Apart from the Norwegian-speaking foreign lecturer, the teaching staff I came in contact with were loyal to the DDR system or at least pretended to be. At the department, I really only had any close contact with the language teachers, like Kamrath (Swedish), Broby-Ilg (Danish) and Prüsse (Norwegian). I was not supposed to know anything about the purely political staff members, as I came to understand.

Only through the grapevine, and to a very limited extent, did I learn anything about the political subjects being taught. There was, for instance, a series of lectures with the name Grundprobleme des antiimperialistischen Kampfes der Völker Nordeuropas. I happened to come across the name by chance one time and asked a colleague what kind of a course it was. But I got no response to my question. Only after Wende did I find out that the course content was “the permanent political, economic and ideological state of crisis” in the Nordic countries. Another lecture series, or it may have been a single lecture, that I first learnt something about after 1989 was Geheimnisschutz und Schutzrechtspolitik.

One very important reason why neither Jan Knutsen (the Norwegian foreign lecturer) nor I were able to learn anything at all about this lecture was that we in fact constituted part of the content in our capacity as representatives of “state monopoly capitalism.” My main job at the university was to lead courses in translation and oral proficiency. There was no question of me taking up any of Sweden’s social background at all. Naturally, this wasn’t made explicit in the beginning but people gradually let me know this in different ways. As a result of private conversations, I also learnt that the students at the start of the fall term had been informed that “the teachers from capitalism are only spreading propaganda when they talk about their home countries.”

In order for a student to even be considered for acceptance at the department, it was not enough to be linguistically talented or have other knowledge or skills; you also had to be politically trustworthy because of all the potential future travel opportunities to the Nordic countries. So the political position and past of every student applicant were thoroughly vetted, and many well-qualified candidates were never allowed in. Only a very small group of “politically untrustworthy” people managed to get a place by concealing their real political views. Student relations with the foreign lecturers were also strictly regulated: any kind of contact outside instruction was prohibited (contact with students of theology, for that matter, was also prohibited), and students could not give their private addresses. There were also students in every class who had the task of monitoring the political views of their fellow students and teachers and reporting anything “suspicious” to the security service.

The departmental library was always locked, and only the teachers and specially trusted students had a key. Naturally, neither Jan Knutsen nor I had one. During instruction, the students were allowed to read newspapers from Sweden, for instance, but they were strictly prohibited from taking the papers with them and reading them on their own somewhere else. The only newspapers that were exceptions to this rule were the Swedish Communist Party paper Norrskensflamman, Morning Star and similar publications. These could be read anywhere and by anyone. As a foreigner (from the West), I came to be isolated, which of course made my work difficult and my life at times very hard. During my time in Greifswald, I kept a detailed diary, in order not to totally lose perspective. Below are a few excerpts:

22 Sep 1981 Yesterday I met Vice-Chancellor Joachimi for the first time. He held a kind of introductory presentation for me. It began like this: “We in the DDR want peace. You may not spread any war propaganda.” Then he continued: “You are to have a human, thus not an animalistic relationship with your colleagues.” ( I really don’t understand that last thing at all. But maybe it has to something to do with my telling a few of the language teachers that I didn’t intend to use the Party newspaper Neues Deutschland in my teaching. But I still don’t understand “animalistic” …) Joachimi’s speech then continued with things like this: “In teaching, your hands are naturally free, but you must comply with the other teachers, and Neues Deutschland is the most important part of the course reading for the translation course.” I hope it doesn’t get worse …

29 Sep It’s been a tough day. In the morning, I was called to a conference that was officially about the organization of the autumn term in general. We gathered in a room in the basement (where I had never set foot before); most of the language teachers were there but also some other people who were completely unknown to me. There were maybe ten or twelve of us in all. To start off, a number of regular items were taken up, and I sat there moderately bored and waited for the whole thing to end. But suddenly the nature of the meeting changed and took the form of an interrogation, and in this interrogation I was the one accused: “Why aren’t you using Neues Deutschland in your teaching?” “It’s your duty!” “How dare you refuse?” “You must give us an explanation now!” (The only person who stood on my side was the Norwegian foreign lecturer, Jan Knutsen, but he couldn’t really do anything to help me.)

I got nervous and couldn’t think straight: What should I answer? How serious was my predicament? Panic-stricken, I groped for something to say and out came a few honest words, much more honest than they would have been if I had complete control of myself: “I feel ill when I see that newspaper.” No one said anything. It was totally quiet. No one had expected a statement like that (neither had I), and only after a moment of perplexed silence did a few people start whispering with each other. They whispered a good while and I just sat there numb without a thought in my head. So then finally the “verdict” was handed down (they were forced to solve the problem in some way): “You are incompetent to teach translation. From now on, you will only teach conversation with this group.”

30 Sep Even though students are prohibited from talking with us “teachers from capitalism” outside of instruction, I’ve spoken to one of the students about circumstances today. The conversation was held in secret and it was very short. Amongst other things, I learnt that most students live four by four in 16 square meters and that there is at least one party member in every room, so that no one can read the “wrong” books or receive the “wrong” kinds of letters.

28 Oct I have been back in Greifswald for two days. During the time I was away, Jan ran into some difficulties. He’s used an article from a West German newspaper in his teaching and now our colleagues and especially the political leadership at our department are making concealed threats: “That kind of thing is punishable.” “We can’t allow that.” “We hope you realise that yourself.” The horrible thing is that you never really know what can happen… Incidentally, yesterday there was a conference for the language teachers as well as others that Jan and I were not invited to.

2 Nov Teaching has become torturous. I can hardly say anything about Sweden without it being political, and I’ve never really been interested in politics! The students are afraid of each other, and some of them check up on others and spy on them. There are obviously also cases where two people check up on each other. For a long time, I’ve felt uneasy about the tense, unnatural mood, but up until now I haven’t really understood the connections. However, today one of the students gave me a few insights, which allowed me to see things a bit more clearly (in a secret conversation, obviously). There are Stasi people who take part as students in most classes and they have the task of reporting any of their fellow students who might say something political “unsuitable.”

8 Nov A few weeks ago, Jan got to know a guy on a train trip. He told Jan amongst other things that he had started studying theology and that he had lost his place for political reasons. And now yesterday Jan and I and that guy visited some of his friends in a village out in the middle of nowhere. We were obliged to keep our visit secret, and we chose a time when there would be as few people as possible who could see us. At five in the morning, we took a bus, rode it for a while and then went the rest on foot. We stayed with these people over night and we spent almost the entire time talking about politics. (Jan also took with him banned books from the West.)

The couple we stayed with told us about their experiences with the DDR system. Amongst other things, they had both been sent to prison because of “subversive activities.” What they had done in concrete terms was that they had taken part in demonstrations for the option of non-combatant service instead of regular military service. During her incarceration, she (I don’t know what to call her here) had been beaten and her pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. And the life this couple is now living is a life in exile, so they can’t leave the village without reporting in, and travel to the West is strictly prohibited. I understand that our trip must have meant a great risk for them, but they wanted us to come … Sometimes I’m afraid…

12 Nov Today I tried to talk about Pippi Longstocking with my students. I wanted to completely avoid talking about politics. That, of course, was terribly naïve of me to think so, because Pippi Longstocking is of course also politics. Yes, and indeed, we never had that relaxed conversation I had hoped for. My introductory words were met by a dismissive silence, and wavering eyes roamed here and there. Finally, the silence was broken by a female student who no doubt in her capacity as party member and perhaps for other reasons set the tone in class: “We don’t want any anarchy here!” That phrase was repeated with minor variations by other students and then that was the end of the discussion about Pippi Longstocking.

23 Nov I have a letter in front of me and you can clearly see it’s been opened and then glued shut again. I got it today from the office at my department; all my post goes there. I assume my post is always checked, but for the most part I don’t notice any of it. But this time, after they checked the letter, they used so much glue when they glued the envelope shut that the letter was stuck to the envelope. So I had to yank it out. (Anka Scholz, who gave me my post as she usually does, obviously doesn’t understand why I’m so upset.)

19 Jan 1982 I’ve finally met a new Western European here. His name is Kalle and he’s from Finland and he’s studying medicine in Greifswald. I don’t really understand why he’s studying here. For instance, he has to take part in four hours of instruction in Marxism-Leninism a week (like everyone else). Many of his fellow students in the subject are Palestinians, and today he told me that in yesterday’s lecture it was said that all Jews are racists.

26 Jan Today it turned out that some of the students here don’t have “any real class consciousness” so they’ve been reprimanded. (Some seem really ashamed.) The students who are doing their last (fifth) year of studies have been informed about their future places of work today and some don’t seem to be too pleased about it. (As background, amongst the things that people have to do in order to study at this department is sign a contract that commits them to working wherever they are placed for the first three years after their studies.)

6 Mar One of the Bulgarian students here (he seems to have greater freedom of movement than most others) told me today that all the students taking Norwegian and Swedish were called to an information meeting before the start of the term in order to learn how they should behave with their capitalist lecturers (Jan and I are the only “capitalist lecturers”). They learnt, for example, that they shouldn’t believe a word of what might be said about the political situation in Norway or Sweden or the West in general; all of it would simply be propaganda. They were also to be aware that these lecturers should be considered to be spying for their home countries.

12 Mar Now I’ve learnt that there’s also Marxist-Leninist grammar terminology.

18 Mar The destruction of the environment is certainly a topic that concerns us all and one that most people have something to say about. I still thought pretty much that way this morning on the way to the department. Now I know better. In the DDR, there are no environmental issues to discuss, the students explained to me. “There’s no environmental destruction here.” “In socialism, people have solved those problems or else we’ve never had them.”

25 Mar I read a review today of a depiction of the future with my students. The text being reviewed was about a community that emerges after a limited nuclear war. The problem here is that, after a short time, it develops into a totalitarian state. (To be honest, I have to admit that I chose this text to provoke.) Right, and how did the students react? “Books like that shouldn’t be written!” “Literature should be positive!” “A strong state is necessary!” “You can’t think about what might happen after a war with atomic weapons… but if the US starts throwing atom bombs, then we’ll throw them right back until there’s no more life left on earth!” They’ve never spoken so openly to me before. “You can’t think that way…”

3 Apr For about a month, there’s been a ban on travel to the area that includes Greifswald, Stralsund, Rügen and Ribnitz-Damgarten due to foot-and-mouth disease. The mood in the city is strange. The day after tomorrow, spring break begins and I’m thinking of travelling to Sweden, but I’m afraid that it won’t happen for one reason or another. To be safe, I went to the station earlier tonight to find out whether it’s possible to travel to Sweden in the coming days. “Obviously” was the answer.

4 Apr After a restless night, I went to the department this morning. The first thing I heard was that the area affected by hoof-and-mouth disease had been declared a “restricted area.” “Restricted area” in this case means that no one can leave the area (without a special permit, which Lecturer Broby-Ilg, one of my colleagues, had. Where did they get a permit like that? They only just decided this “restricted area”!). In panic, I scrambled over to something called the Direktorat für Kader to ask people there whether I would also be able to get a permit like that. “No, you’re staying here.” “It can take months. We don’t know anything.” Determined to get myself out of there in some way (besides, Jan is already in Norway), I run on, now toward the station. Perhaps there’s still a chance. At the station, I learn that you can still travel to Stralsund, but not farther than that. I buy a ticket to Stralsund and then leave Greifswald on the first train (and unfortunately with the wrong luggage…).

21 Apr My escape was a tough experience that I’ll never forget. It’ll take some time before I can talk about it… Tomorrow; I’m travelling back to Greifswald. I really don’t know why I’m doing that. A sense of duty? Curiosity? Madness?

13 May I can’t live as though I already had all this behind me! Why do I keep silent so often, why don’t I fight anymore? I can’t reduce this year to an “interesting experience.” There are people who will always live under this strain, who will never get out. How is it possible that every time I leave this country, even if only for a day, I start to forget it and can almost hardly believe that there really is such a place? My diary has become almost ridiculously important to me. Since Jan left the DDR in March, I have no one to share my experiences here with. I always have to be on my guard with the East Germans so that I don’t wind up saying something about one person to another. And when I tell people in the West about this country, they don’t believe a lot of it or in any case see it as an exaggeration. Can you tell somebody about this country at all, how it really is? Will I even believe what’s written here in the future?

4 Jun On the beach at Wiek, there are now new fences and signs saying Sperrgebiet. No one can tell me what that means… In the summer of 1982, I left Greifswald, and even though I had come to know a few “outsiders” amongst the students during that year, I broke off all contact with them when I left. Only after Wende did I re-establish ties, and it turned out I was quite right to wait so long.